I took me till now to open up about this.i still do cry at nights....half of my soul gone with him...i love my siblings and family more and more than myself....i always do everything to make thing at ease for them especially my siblings....we go bowling-game after game after game, we love watching movies together-sometimes 3 movies in a row, karaokeing :(...we "love" doing the " our siblings trips".we hate-but- had-to go to the stadium when ayah forced us to come with him to see his athletes have a tournament...orang lain pakai t shirt, kita pakai macam nak pegi jenjalan dengan harapan ayah lepaskan la awal sket...many other things we did together..so much fun!!
I used to received in my inbox so many requests and wish lists from my brothers and lil sister....kasutla, jamla, handphonela, bajula, contact lensla....tho most of them are quite ridiculous sometimes, some of them i just to give...love. erti kate lain kena pau...
...and when one of us wasn't here anymore, you are not here haziq, physically...things that we used to do together, 4 of us, has become weird....ugly weird!
It's not fun anymore!!it hurt me and the others...why so soon?
Dear brother, i love you more than i love myself, i love the family more than myself...if this ugly and painful feeling, and if the unlimited fun, lots of it and craziness are taken away from me and us for unlimited fun and happiness for you in the other world there...i take it as my only love from me to you. my love and prayers will always be with you...
Dear brother, i still do see you in my dream sometimes.it hurt.and if i have to grow old with you like this, i take it.
Everybody misses you.
People say, if you wanna see what a person carry together with him when he died, you see the people who came to his funeral and visit his grave...ibu kate kawan-kawan bangcik setiap hari jumaat datang lawat kat kubur.cikgu addmath n cikgu akaun pon....sebab bangcik pergi hari jumaat...lepas kelas tambahan.
Wtf with the car that hit you. ayah said he's going to settle the things soon.that hurt too. to see things all over again.
I can work up this kind of relationship....it is weird but i gotta deal with it.we always do and get things the hardest way...gone with half of my soul.till the day we finally meet again, you will always be my brother.